almost bereavement

Living with a person who has Dementia is almost like bereavement.

The one you have known and loved for many many years is slowly slipping away.

Instead of being ‘Tess’ or ‘your Mother’ I am now referred to as ‘My Wife’

names of things are forgotten, conversations are not possible as concentration lapses very quickly. Simple tasks take longer to complete. Confusion creeps in

With the shortening of days comes restlessness and the need to shut things down and go to bed.

This brings loneliness and feelings of rejection, sometimes one even feels as if they are no longer relevant.

patience and understanding  are sometimes in short supply!

Pray for us.

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Irritations and how to cope

this morning I joined a group of friends at the village church for coffee and chat.

The subject for discussion was that of the title of this blog.

We came up with a myriad of them which led to a lot of anecdotes of various irritations:

traffic jams when you have an appointment to keep; the computer telling you your printer is offline when you can see it isn’t; the checkout person in the supermarket who carries on a conversation with a colleague rather than giving you attention; the mother who chats on her phone rather than talking to her child,…I could go on and on.

it has just struck me that some of you will be thinking I am being very negative again, and maybe as a group we were, but we were also seeking to find a way to deal with these things.

A member of the group reminded us that Life is not easy, there are always going to be challenges.

In the grand scheme of things these irritations count for very little. One only has to think of the Muslims fleeing Myanmar, or the many refugees desparately seeking a better life in Europe, or the Syrians trying to return home and rebuild their lives.

It seems there are those who do not value Human life and people are dispossed, forced into slavery, starved and made homeless.

What can we do as individuals to make this a better world??

We need leaders who are peacemakers with  Compassion and integrity .

Sowing disunity and hatred is negative.

We can but pray for Peace.

 

trials and tribulations

have you had one of those weeks when everything seems to go wrong .?

The shower died on Saturday. We couldn’t get a Plumber til Monday!

i went shopping at my local supermarket and at the check out  discovered that I didn’t have my bank card.

I went to an ATM for cash another day and the machine was out of order.

Whilst doing some gardening, potting up some bulbs and pansies i caught my skirt on a rough edge and pulled a thread!!

An arrangement with a friend to go to the cinema had to be cancelled because she had a family crisis to be dealt with immediately…we were both disappointed.

During my walk this morning I struggled with my breathing and took a long time to recover on return home after 25 minutes walking.

I called the Dr and got an appointment. he suggested i had an ECG immediately and that he change the dosage of one of my meds. ECG was ok. I have to take the new dose for 3 weeks and get back to him.

I decided today we would have our main meal in the evening as we were expecting the Plumber to fit the shower some time during the day.

Shower fitted, my Husband decided to make a start on cooking, even though I had said we would eat at 5.30, he had the vegetables on the go at 3.25.

He could not understand that it was too early…I was castigated for my stupidity in not being able to understand his reading of the clock.

i fled into the garden to prevent myself from screaming!!!!!!!!

the heart is heavy

So sad to witness the gradual loss of memory…how to do familiar tasks..worrying about time to do things, inability to settle to watch and follow TV programmes……the heart is heavy that sees these things.

Looking through a pile of unopened mail, birthday cards addressed to me for tomorrow I saw one addressed to Teresa Collins and Family!! what is this I wonder, then realised it was the card purchased today by husband John. He asked me to go with him to the shop and then asked me which one I liked……So sad to think he could no longer do this simple task without my help..my heart is heavy and there is nothing I can do.

 

BANK HOLIDAY

the sun is shining, the sky is blue….all is quiet on the road outside

but I am at the bottom of the pit.

The radio keeps reminding me it’s a Holiday weekend but I am stuck here with nowhere to go and nothing but housework to do…………….Not even a chance of seeing family…they are all too busy visiting or entertaining friends.

A short drive to a local beauty spot would be nice!!!!!!!!!!

As I ponder the idea of going anywhere I realise that all throughout my married life, if we did go on holiday I was the one to organise it.

Now I wan’t to be organised by someone else. the stress and worry of such things is too much to contemplate. Sadly the only significant other is way past doing such things .

hey ho! such is life now!

 

 

Scrapbooking

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Today I decided to crack on with  the scrapbook I have planned to make for my eldest Grandson.

I realised the other day that I had to complete it before November next year when he will be 30!!

I belong to a Scrapbooking club and we meet once a month and based on the progress I have made over the past six months  I am not going to get the job done.

I have made five complete books for my other grand children and have almost completed a sixth for our youngest grand-daughter who will be 18 in 2019.

I also made one for our youngest son to mark his fiftieth birthday. As he is a guitarist I decided to make it in the shape of a guitar!!! Well this turned out to be quite a challenge but I succeeded in completing it. I have been searching my photos for a picture but can’t find one to share with you.

Here he is opening it!   You can just about make out the shape .                                                                     9547_10153606973230376_6926228602860869367_n1.jpg

The first one I made was a record of my visit to Canada when we went to Vancouver Island, then on the Rocky Mountaineer from Vancouver to Calgary. From there we flew to Moncton NB and on to Miramichi. We stayed with friends there and also had a weekend on PEI. We were following in the footsteps of William and Kate who were a few days ahead of us!!!

Then I decided I would make one for each of my grand children as they reached their 18th birthdays. My eldest Grandson had already passed this milestone hence the reason for celebrating his 30th with one.

Most of them have been 12 x 12 format but this one is  8 x 8 and you can get a glimpse of it in the picture at the top. Today I have managed 3 pages and planned a fourth.

Google chrome is refusing to work and windows 10 won’t share my photos!!! I’ll try to outwit it!! I’ll find a page from the most recent book I have almost completed!

scrapbook

Yay!! I managed it !!

I’ll be interested to hear from any Scrapbookers!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Holidays

Whilst the talk is of holidays and busy motorways, airports etc fills the TV and radio news my heart is heavy with the knowledge that I don’t stand much chance of escaping from the day to day. I will have to remain here!!

Daughter has flown off to Spain with her husband. Eldest son and his wife are in Sri Lanka and second son will shortly be off to the Edinburgh festival with his Family.

at this very moment I am enduring endless Irish Folk music as my Husband delves into his ancient collection of discs and tapes which remind him of days gone by.                     ‘It’s a long way to Tipperary’  A song allegedly written for a 5 shilling bet in Staleybridge and taken up as a marching song by British Troops in the First World War.

This week we have been investigating the possibility of trading in his Accordion for a smaller model. this is because he has started to play it again and is finding it too heavy to manage. It is a lovely instrument, quite pristine and well cared for : a 72 bass Galotta, he bought it many years ago from a retired gentleman who was having a similar problem.

 

accordion
accordion

The nearest place I could find after an afternoon browsing the internet, was Birmingham a city in the Midlands about 80 plus miles from Peterborough UK where we live.

Only an hour and a half by road (traffic and road works permitting) but in my mind it might as well be the moon!!! Would it be worth the effort when it’s perfectly possible that he may change his mind about playing a new one or even forget how to!!!

Browsing through photos to find one to insert I was reminded of numerous holidays both here in UK and also far far away. we even managed to get away in the winter to warmer climes, on the Spanish island of Tenerife and then a couple of years we made it to Florida!

Our trip on the Rocky Mountaineer and then a stay with friends in Miramichi NB was a great one. I made a Scrapbook of the whole trip which also included a visit to Vancouver Island, staying with an old School Friend.

Our second visit to Canada was also great. We stayed with another friend, just outside Toronto. During that visit we made it to Niagara Falls and Niagara on the lake.

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Next has to be our trips to Dubai. Our eldest son lives and works there so we see it from a different viewpoint, totally different from your regular tourist. My last visit was with my daughter and grand-daughter and the highlight of that one was the Burj Khalifa, tallest building in the World.

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February or November are the best times to visit Dubai as the temperatures are good.

For many years, in fact 14 altogether, we spent a week in the Springtime on the beautiful island of Guernsey in the Channel Isles. We spent many a day rambling along the cliff walks, stopping for coffee at the various little cafes looking out to sea, or picnicking in a sunny spot.

 

It is good to have memories but they are not the same as actually being there!!!

Pictures are my own!