almost bereavement

Living with a person who has Dementia is almost like bereavement.

The one you have known and loved for many many years is slowly slipping away.

Instead of being ‘Tess’ or ‘your Mother’ I am now referred to as ‘My Wife’

names of things are forgotten, conversations are not possible as concentration lapses very quickly. Simple tasks take longer to complete. Confusion creeps in

With the shortening of days comes restlessness and the need to shut things down and go to bed.

This brings loneliness and feelings of rejection, sometimes one even feels as if they are no longer relevant.

patience and understanding  are sometimes in short supply!

Pray for us.

7 thoughts on “almost bereavement

  1. I unfortunately know what you are going through. Dealing with dementia inoved ones is so difficult and bereavement is good word to describe the experience. Many prayers for you and your family.

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  2. My thoughts are with you on this yo-yo of awareness, anxiety and lucidity.
    My 95 year old mother has dementia and has recently been taken into a nursing home. I was not her carer as she didn’t wish to live with us, though we had her come for weekends when we lived locally and holidays for one or two months at a time twice a year when we moved further away. She doesn’t know who I or my brother in NZ are when we ring, so I write letters once or twice a week, loads of memories of growing up and my music. Mum loved to hear me play.
    Living 260 miles away visiting is difficult but I am trying to get to see her when I can.
    I love my Mum dearly and want the best for her. She is safe and being looked after 24/7 now with professional care and the stimulus she needs.
    I speak with my brother in NZ often and we both find it heartbreaking that she gets so distressed trying to place us. It’s worse for him of course, so I keep him informed of any visits and contact. There have been times though when she is fully with us, we laugh and joke, reminisce, and talk about my Dad a lot. We keep the conversation going on whatever subject, however often repeated. Our time with her is so very precious.

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    1. Thank you for your kind thoughts. My husband is 79 and seems to be changing almost daily. My children are very helpful and supportive. he doesn’t need full time care but gets anxious if I am gone for more than 2 hours.
      Our grand children are all adult now and they try to get their Granddad to talk about his younger days.

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      1. Your husband is so young compared to other people I know with this. It’s wonderful that you have family support and the grandchildren visit. Mum’s dementia really started to take hold about five years ago. My sister’s daughters and two further generations live locally and they visit her. I’m hoping to see her early in December.

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